


you can't chase the stars (underwater)

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, FORMER black paladin allura, Gen, edited a little because i should not be allowed to edit tired im sorry @ absolutely everyone, late night conversations on the castle ship, this was designed for pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 18:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10444233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Oh.” Lance says. “Allura. I’m so sorry.”Allura tells Lance about the previous paladins.





	

Lance sits up. Everyone is asleep in the control room and he’s been laying on the floor for the past three hours. Pidge is curled up in her chair, her nose pressed down into her neck. Keith is laying underneath her chair, face down, not moving. Lance is only sort of sure he’s alive. Hunk is snoring against the window, his reading tablet abandoned beside him.

Allura is the only one awake, standing at the controls. Lance thinks that Coran was watching over it all when he fell asleep but Allura stands in his place. She’s the most casual Lance has ever seen her, in what looks like a long tee shirt and bare feet. With the loss of Shiro, Lance thinks that she’s gotten a little bit looser with appearances. She just wants the job done.

“Hey.” He says groggily. “You’re still doing things.”

 

“Things have to be done.” Allura says quietly. She looks out over everything, over the room of sleeping paladins, the controls, out into the stars. “Come closer, I don’t want to wake anyone.”

“Alright.” Lance says. He crawls over to the control hub and sits so he can face Allura.

“You could have walked.” She says, almost smiling. She doesn’t, because Allura is still too cool to smile, but it’s close.

“This was less work.” He says, mock serious. He straightens up. “Are you alright?” He asks. “I mean, you obviously don’t need to tell me, but you look like you could use somebody to talk to.”

Allura still doesn’t look at him, instead searching the sky for nonexistent combatants. Lance doesn’t think that she will look at him. That’s alright. He just wants to make sure she’s as okay as she could be.

“Did Coran tell you what the Transition of Lions was supposed to be like?” She asks.

 

“No.” Lance says. “What, so you don’t usually just randomly pick from the aliens that end up on your doorstep?” He’s joking, or at least he’s trying to. It falls flat.

“That wasn’t the plan.” Allura says. “But we weren’t far enough along to have a normal yet. You are from the third set of Voltron’s Paladin’s. My father was from the first.”

“You skipped a set.” Lance says. “What happened to the second?”

Allura sighs. “That’s the problem. The Prime, they decided when they formed Voltron that they would only continue on as long they were all healthy and willing. They wanted to make sure that Voltron was passed throughout time to defend the universe and keep their people safe. It was a dream, really.”

“It sounds like a good dream.” Lance offers. It sounds reasonable. Thinking of piloting Voltron forever stresses Lance out. He loves it, and will do it as long as he needs to, but he wants to settle down some day. He wants to go home. 

“Not everyone shared the dream.” Allura says. She lays down on the floor beside Lance, one bare foot still touching the control tower. (Sometimes Lance thinks that Allura shows off, her telepathy with the castle, her shape shifting, her ability to read whatever is placed in front of her. This is one of those moments.) “Zarkon wanted to be a paladin as long as possible. He liked the power.”

“Oh.” Lance says. “I forget sometimes, that he was a paladin.”

 

“I can’t.” Allura says quietly. “I grew up around them. There wasn’t a war then so instead they fostered diplomacy. They were mostly good. Prime had bumps of course, but all teams do. It was to be expected. But then Genesis, the Green Paladin, he started to get sick.”

“Oh.” Lance says again. “How sick?”

“It wasn’t bad, he was just old.” Allura says. “Piloting Voltron puts a lot of stress on your body. He was willing to continue, but my father and the red and blue paladins said that they wouldn’t do it any more. They wanted to move on. So then they went on to my Paladins.”

“Your Paladins?” Lance says.

“My Paladins.” Allura says, her voice cracking. It’s a little surreal. Lance has heard her furious, heard her terrified, heard her elated, but Allura’s voice has always remained steady. He doesn’t like it. “The Prime brought waves of people from their planets and other planets brought Champions too. We were all presented. It took days, all of us brought before the lions. The lions chose. It was fantastic. Whenever somebody was chosen everybody stopped while we said hello. The lions were treated like they were supposed to be, they were honored. We were all honored.”

“You were the black paladin.” Lance says, and it all makes sense now. “That’s why the lions are connected to you. That’s why you know how to train us. They were linked to you because you were their leader.”

“We were all within a few rotations of each other.” Allura says, distant. “Two Alteans, one Galra, one Arielian, and one Olkari. We were young but ready to learn. It didn't last for long though, because Zarkon was _mad_.”

“Because?”

 

Allura tapped her foot against the control counsel, a constant rhythm showing barely contained emotion. “My father raised a better leader than he did. I was the black paladin and his son, Lotor, was the red. There were a lot of other reasons too I think, but mostly that. He wanted Lotor to follow in his footsteps.”

“What did Lotor want?” Lance asked.

“I don’t even think he wanted to be a paladin.” Allura said, tapping her hands on her stomach. “I think Zarkon made him. I’m not sure why Red chose him. He wasn’t an awful paladin, his heart just wasn’t in it.”

“Why am I a paladin?” Lance asks, “Instead of you and your crew? It sounds like you guys were much more prepared than we are.”

“Because.” Allura says, she sits up, her hands clawing at the floor beside her. Lance lurches back, suddenly aware that Allura is many times stronger than him. “Zarkon killed my mother and brother to start a war with my father and his allies. Then he called Lotor home and when Lotor went home he took the red lion from us. The rest of us, four children unable to form Voltron? We didn’t stand a chance against an army.”

 

“Oh.” Lance says. He can't imagine. He's been in battles in his time as a paladin, he's seen people die, but he still can't wrap his head around it. Everybody gone? It doesn't seem read.  “Allura. I’m so sorry.”

She nods quickly. “I know.” 

She doesn’t say it’s fine. It’s not fine, her everything is gone. Lance doesn’t know what to do.

“We can keep on talking if you want?” Lance offers. “I can tell you about what my life was like on Earth, about my family, or you can keep talking if you want. I mean, just until Coran takes over for his shift.”

Allura turns and looks at Lance. Her gaze is steady and Lance will pretend that he can’t see the tears in the edges of her eyes. She lays back down onto the ground.

“Tell me about Earth.” She says.

Lance nods. “Okay, Okay. So listen. Hunk and I met when we were six years old--" 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

>   
>  the title is from andrew mcmahon's [birthday song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC2KLxvt9NY). i highly recommend his work.  
> i hope you enjoyed ♥♥♥


End file.
